The beginning of messy
One of the reasons I started a blog to begin with was so that I had somewhere to share the stories behind my paintings. I created a new series this year that was inspired by my messy journey to learn to be a more vulnerable person. So coincidentally the series is called “Messy,” which is why this *painting holds a lot more than just paint.
At the end of the day we all just want to be known and loved, but we can’t be fully loved unless we are fully known. I didn’t think of that myself. Actually my counselor taught me that and she learned it from someone else. I really do believe it.
Vulnerability is the key to feeling loved. Which is weird because the reason most of us won’t let others in completely is because we have a fear that people won’t love us if they really know us and that in itself means there is a part of us that WE don’t love about who we are.
Vulnerability starts within ourselves; We have to become aware of things we don’t like or know we want to change about who we are but ALSO accept it and love ourselves anyway.
It’s not easy.
Admitting there are areas in your life that need a lot of work can be extremely difficult. Some people live their whole lives and never really get there. Bringing to light mistakes or failures feels like weakness, but it’s not. It’s what makes us better people people. It refines us.
Vulnerability is something that I always thought I was really good at and come to find out I’m really bad at it. I’ve learned that it is not just privately fixing what needs work and letting others in once that area of life is good. Vulnerability is letting others in on the process. The people that we need to love us have to experience the messy part of us while it’s still messy. That makes us real. When we can be real… we can be loved.
There will be many more posts and paintings about this as I continue this journey. I’m also working on pieces inspired by other’s journeys of vulnerability so if you have a story to share on the subject, please please share, they always encourage me.
*Original 40×40 Acrylic on Gallery Wrapped Canvas. For purchasing send messages to email@example.com